Friday, October 6, 2017

Blogtober: 3 Years Married- 3 Truths

My husband and I celebrated 3 years married on October 4th. We had a really wonderful day, with cards and presents in the morning, and a delicious dinner out after work. I was thinking about how happy I was, and decided I wanted to write this post, about truths in marriage. Or my take on it anyway. So here it goes!

1. If you want a beautiful marriage, you're the one that needs to do the work.

I remember the types of comments people used to make about what I said or posted about my husband. (or then boyfriend or fiance) A lot of it was sort of joking, but the gist was the same. I constantly praised my man. I think some found it annoying, but I simply can't fathom why you wouldn't post uplifting things if you are going to say anything at all. If you want a beautiful relationship, you can't sit around and wait for the other person to make the move. You have to give selflessly for that to happen. Can it be hard and draining? Absolutely. Do I sometimes feel like I'm putting in all the work? Sure.  But we live in a society that teaches people that if it isn't easy, or all about you, or exactly what you want all the time, then it should be left or forgotten. In my mind, relationships aren't like that. Hopefully your spouse will reciprocate with kind words and selfless actions back. But even when they don't, one of you has to keep the momentum going. Because sometimes they are the ones who are putting in all the work. Beautiful relationships don't just happen on their own.

2. If you aren't happy with how someone treats you while dating, please don't get married thinking it will get better. It doesn't.

I think this is a common misconception of many people; this idea that the next thing will fix whatever is broken in their relationship. They think that the added commitment or security will somehow make it better. The truth is- it doesn't. Dating is probably the best someone will ever treat you. It's new, it's exciting, and you see each other less often than you do once you're married. Marriage is wonderful- don't get me wrong! But as the everyday sets in, some of those romantic gestures start to slide. On both ends! The bond and commitment of marriage is a gift, but it comes with its own challenges.

3. Non-summer wedding anniversaries are the best

Okay- this is a silly little truth I've been mulling around in my head. But this summer I noticed that my 2 siblings who got married in the summer had hectic anniversaries. I'm sure they still enjoyed their day! However, now that I'm thinking about it, I'm pretty sure I spent my sister's anniversary with her this year when we were in Michigan around the 4th. My little brother and his wife are some of the busiest people I know, and I'm not sure they really even got to celebrate. Actually, last year I was with them on their anniversary now that I think back. (Wow, I've really got to stop gate crashing my sibling's anniversaries!) I love having a fall anniversary. Summer is just so busy, and celebrating gets lost within all the other awesome adventures (and let's face it- other people's summer weddings you are invited to) Fall is a relaxed time for us to appreciate our day and celebrate the wonderful gift of marriage. I feel winter or spring could be similar. So don't be afraid to ditch the classic summer wedding!

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